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Author’s Note: Wow! It’s been a long time since I wrote Nate a dog here, a city skyline there. He wasn’t quite sure why he had put a warning label on it.

“My boyfriend; the artist. You should draw me sometime,” Mateo suggested with a wink. “Ever study the male anatomy before?”

“My boyfriend; the model. We could def- OH MY GOD,” Oliver said, eyes bulging as the page turned to reveal a rather detailed drawing of a penis. It was completed with shading, veins, and clearly quite a bit of effort. Oliver’s face drained of color as Mateo burst into a fit of laughter.

“I guess that answers that. Wait, babe! This is actually really good! Dare I say, your best work in here,” he said through his laughter. Oliver reach for the sketchbook, but Mateo dodged. The two struggled for it. Oliver’s face was flushing. During their little wrestling match, the sketchbook eventually fell to the side, and the men ended up nose to nose on the bed. Oliver breathed in deep, eyes dilating. Mateo smiled up at him, soaking in the details.

“I don’t know how you slept on just a mattress. This would have killed my back,” Mateo said eventually as they sat up. Oliver straddled him.

“There’s a lot of things I did as a teenager that would kill me now,” Oliver replied with a small laugh, stretching his back.

“Who’s Nate?” Mateo asked suddenly, and Oliver froze in place.

“What?” He said dropping his arms.

“Nate. Looks like you had yourself a little crush on him,” he said, a cheesy grin growing on his face as he gestured to the sketchbook. There was the name with a heart around it maybe half a dozen times with various flourishes on the letters.

“Oh. Just this guy I dated back in high school,” he offered, hoping his interest would die there. It would not.

“A guy you dated in high school? In this town?! How have I not heard of this Nate before?” Mateo asked in shock. They had told each other about their exes at one point, but Oliver failed to mention Nate.

“He was my first love,” Oliver said slowly, treading lightly. “At least, I think he was. It felt like love at the time, but what did I know? I was eighteen.”

“That’s so sweet. What happened?”

“Nothing. We just went our separate ways,” Oliver said, looking intently at the name. What if he was gonna be there?

“His loss!” Mateo announced as he rubbed Oliver’s thighs.

“Yeah,” Oliver replied.

***

The school looked just as it had ten years ago. Not a thing seemed to have changed. The cafeteria was lit up, and the parking lot had a decent amount of cars in it. The turnout was better than he had been expecting.

“You ready?” Mateo asked, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Let’s go.”

The cafeteria was decorated floor to ceiling with streamers, balloons, and paper crafts, giving ominous prom vibes. There were numerous crowds of people making conversation, drinking, catching up. Oliver didn’t Ankara escort recognize the majority of the people he saw that night. Maybe they had changed beyond recognition, or maybe he just had shit memory.

Deja vu rushed over him as he had a flashback. He had been standing in this same spot, trying to find somewhere to sit at lunch the first day. He hadn’t known anyone then either. The first few days had been pretty lonely. That is until she came along.

“Oliver?” He knew that voice. A smile spread across his face as he turned around to see the unmistakable Kat who also had a matching smile.

“Kat!” She hurried over and they hugged tightly.

“Oh my god, it’s been so long!” Oliver said, looking her up and down to see how much she had changed.

“You look good! Talk about a glow up,” she said, slapping his arm.

“Thank you! You do too. And this is my boyfriend, Mateo,” he said, stepping aside. Mateo extended his hand, but she pulled him in and hugged him anyway.

“It’s so nice to meet you Mateo. I’m Kat. And this is my husband,” she said, dramatically leading up to it. Neither of them had noticed the guy standing a few feet back, looking the other way. He turned back towards them and it only took a second to register.

“Jake? Jake!” Oliver said.

“Hey there Oliver! You sure do look different,” Jake said with a smile. Long gone were the days of him smacking books out of Oliver’s hands. There wasn’t even a trace of that hate left in his eyes. Instead, there were crow’s feet and smile lines.

“I gotta say. I did not see this one coming,” Oliver admitted as Jake and Kat linked arms.

“Well, ya know. People change,” Kat said with a shrug and exchanged a loving glance with Jake. He wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes but they worked as a couple.

“Don’t I know it,” Oliver said.

“Look! Our old table,” Kat said excitedly, pointing across the room at an empty table near the back corner. They made their way through the crowd of his peers.

“Relax,” Mateo whispered, stroking his forearm. It was only then that he realized he had a vice grip on his hand. He loosened it.

The four of them would go on to talk about what they had been up to since they lost touch. Kat had gone on to become a teacher working at various schools before landing at her home school. There, she helped found their first ever Gay & Straight Alliance. They had a small group of students, and there was one kid in particular that reminded Kat of Oliver when he was young. Full of spunk, as she put it. Jake owned a local car shop in town. He told them all about these awards he had won for outstanding service and then went on to tell this story with a car pun as a punch line that only Mateo understood since he’d grown up working on them with his father. Jake had too.

Oliver told them about how he graduated college and travelled around the Ankara escort bayan country on performing contracts. One even taking him across the ocean to Europe where he met Mateo at some dance club. It’s been a running joke between them that Mateo is his foreign love, but turns out, he was merely traveling and was actually from New York. For what seemed the better part of the night, they laughed and Oliver was having a really good time. He caught himself unapologetically busting out laughing and smiling wide at jokes he’d completely forgotten about.

“I’m gonna run to the restroom real quick,” Oliver said at one point as he rose from the table. Mateo was deep in conversation with Jake about some car thing that went over the other two’s heads.

“Bro, that is sick!” Mateo said excitedly as Jake showed him something. Oliver didn’t think he’d ever heard Mateo describe something as ‘sick’ before. Kat rolled her eyes as they geeked out.

“Go. This is quality entertainment,” she said, crossing her arms and laughing at the two, who didn’t even look up.

Oliver left, pushing through a pair of double doors that led to the rest of the school.

Even just outside the doors it was deafeningly quiet. A ringing was left in his ear, and a single light was shining at the end of the hall where the west bathrooms were. The ones nearer were darkened. Something was always wrong with the plumbing in that one. The air was cold, sending goosebumps up his arms. For a moment, he just stood there and stared. If he listened close enough, he could hear sneakers squeaking on the tile and metal doors slamming. Indistinct chatter. He walked forward, every step echoing.

The bathroom door was cold against his hand as he pushed. Inside, everything was the same. Oliver looked at himself in the mirror, seeing the way he used to style his hair, his backpack, his favorite hoodie that he wore everywhere. Now he was a bit taller with better posture, a hairstyle he would’ve chastised himself for back then, and a rotation of three jackets that he wore everywhere. His thoughts came to a halt when the stall door directly behind him creaked open. A man emerged, head hung, looking at his phone. The second he looked up though, Oliver knew.

He could never mistake those eyes. Through the reflection, both men stood frozen in their places. His hair was longer, slightly frizzy around the hairline. He sported a fresh tan, a slight burn across the bridge of his nose. The features that had remained frozen in time aged rapidly, getting slightly softer and more mature. Most notable though was definitely the silver band wrapped around his ring finger.

“Hi,” Oliver managed to get out, breaking the silence. He turned around to face him directly, shoulders tensing.

“Hi,” Nate said, eyes wide, putting his phone back into his pocket.

“It’s been a while.”

“Yeah. It has.”

“I didn’t think you had Escort Ankara come.”

“Yeah. Our babysitter bailed on us last minute.”

“Babysitter,” Oliver echoed, taking that in for a moment. And then, “Our?”

“Yeah. Husband and two little girls,” Nate said after taking a deep breath. He didn’t know if he stand to hear another ‘yeah.’

“Congratulations,” Oliver said. Nate nodded, paused as if her were going to say something else, then changed his mind. He made his way to the sink adjacent to Oliver’s and began washing his hands instead, keeping his head down. Oliver was standing there motionless, listening to the squeaky sink faucet and the rush of water, when it hit him.

Nate. Riding home in his Mustang that fateful day after school. The first time they kissed. The way he squeezed Oliver’s thigh when driving. Taking him in for the first time. Being mad at him. Holding him when he showed up at his window late at night crying. Posing for graduation pictures together. Waking him up for school when he lived with him. Waking him up for class when they roomed together in college after that. Their first real party where they got so drunk that they declared their love for each other as loudly as they could in the dorm parking lot. When Nate told him he didn’t want to share a bed anymore. And the night Nate broke things off. All the tears that followed. His first heartbreak. His Nate.

“Well… good seeing you,” Nate said, still looking down and he made his way past Oliver to the door. Now or never.

“I don’t like the way we left things,” Oliver blurted out just as Nate placed a hand on the door. He paused.

“Oliver, I-“

“Please? I was kind of hoping I’d see you here. Can I just say something?,” Oliver asked, squaring his shoulders to him. After a moment, Nate dropped his hand to his side and turned around. Oliver took a deep breath in, gathered his thoughts, and breathed out.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I made you out to be the villain to all of our friends when… things ended. I was so caught up in myself at the time that I didn’t listen to you. Instead, I shut down and made things way worse than they had to be. I’ve done a lot of reflecting since then, and I’m so grateful for what we did have. We were a team. You were such an incredible part of my life, and I treated you like shit at the end, and I’m sorry… And I don’t expect you to forgive me or anything, but I do want you to know that I’m still rooting for you. Always will be,” Oliver said, eyes tearing up near the end. Nate’s expression remained still, as if one nerve moving would cause an avalanche of emotion, but his glossy eyes proved that it had already begun. The two men stood there for a moment, throats tense.

“It did hurt. I felt betrayed,” Nate said with a tinge of bitterness in his voice, but then it softened with, “But… I’m sorry too. I didn’t know how to put my feelings into words. I’m still working on that… I was a dick. I should’ve–I don’t know… I never wanted to hurt you.”

“We were kids. We didn’t know any better,” Oliver offered, wiping a tear that had found a path directly to his mouth.

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